Or not.
This is dedicated to our swell pal Firm whose always got a pun in the oven.
1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess
looks at him and says, “I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”
2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, “Dam!”
3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.
Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and
heat it too.
4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says “I’ve lost my electron.” The other says
“Are you sure?” The first replies “Yes, I’m positive.”
5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His
goal: transcend dental medication.
6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the
lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the
manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?” they
asked, as they moved off. “Because,” he said, “I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting
in an open foyer.”
7.Mahatma Ghandi, the great mystic spiritual leader of India, was a total vegetarian and the lack of protein in his diet caused him to be very frail and physically weak. His diet also caused him to develop a terrible case of chronic bad breath. And since he used no animal products he would wear no leather shoes or sandals, he developed incredibly thick calluses on his feet from going barefoot all the time. Of course you realize what this made him?
A super-callused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis!!!!!!!









June 9, 2007 at 10:48 pm |
Jeez. I totally have to call the pun police now.
June 10, 2007 at 12:05 am |
Ugh…pardon those puns! pleeeze!
June 10, 2007 at 3:07 am |
Change whose (pos) to who’s (contraction).
Spell check sucks, and I wouldn’t be a friend if I didn’t point it out.
Otherwise, f’ing funny. xoxo
June 10, 2007 at 3:44 am |
it is the size twelves isn’t it?
June 10, 2007 at 6:17 am |
Actually Miche, funny you should say that because I kept looking at that sentence and thinking – something is off!
June 10, 2007 at 2:32 pm |
PS I don’t really use spellcheck.
Jennifer, maybe. The Old Man…has a size 12 foot. But 13 – that’s even more impressive.
Oh god! My nephew has an 13 foot.
Excuse me while I go have an “Ewww” moment.
June 11, 2007 at 1:28 am |
finally something is starting to make sense around here…… lol
June 11, 2007 at 3:08 am |
What’s worse is that the oldest son’s foot is much larger than 13, by several sizes. Oh well…