An early birthday present for a fellow Cancerian. Oh please please I hope she didn’t already discover this and if she did – go ahead and lie to me! I put so much thought into this one! (Ok, now I’m lying, I just happened to stumble upon this while looking for sordid Pulpy covers).
It’s Octaman circa 1971! Ugly as sin but no woman can resist eight arms!
Oh how sweet! They’re in love! Bestiality at its finest!
And it’s mutual!
But then he caught her flirting with his best friend!
So a fight ensued!
| Shark vrs Octopus. Video |
A battle so great it was immortalized in art!
And revered through words too
Until the happy couple spawned an abomination!
A curse – from the House of Selachian!
And from there on their descendants met horrible fates! In Greece:
And China!
and Japan!
And other places too numerous to mention!
However some of them were fortune enough
to get a job tending bar or land a gig posing nude
such as his great great granddaughter did for this aerator
and this beast cancer ribbon.
And thus the cephalopods were able to blend into society once they proffered the people a multitude of good will and they all lived happily ever after.
Posted by raincoaster on June 14, 2007 at 1:25 am
Speechless. I’m speechless. Except to note that that miscegenating Octodaddy is notorious around these parts. You see him at all the hot beaches, doing his best to chat up the lifeguards, but they wont’ give him the time of day.
No tongue.
Posted by Stiletto on June 14, 2007 at 1:39 am
So does this mean you like it?
Posted by richardmorgan on June 14, 2007 at 1:43 am
Octoman starred Lance Kerwin. Who is Lance Kerwin? He was some teen actor back in the 70s, I think. I dated a girl whose mother had such a crush on Kerwin that she had an entire wall of Lance Kerwin photos. So, imagine my surprise when I discovered that Lance was in Octoman. I must get a copy of this movie.
Posted by Stiletto on June 14, 2007 at 1:59 am
Richard, she’s still speechless.
See, Rich, there was something in it even for you. Of course, when she says “No tongue” I am not sure if she means her or Mr. Octopus.
Posted by Vanessa on June 14, 2007 at 3:34 am
Greeks do wonderful things with octopi…
Posted by Stiletto on June 14, 2007 at 3:35 am
“Greeks do wonderful things with octopi…”
Hopefully, not THAT.
Posted by raincoaster on June 14, 2007 at 4:02 am
They’re Greeks. You know what they’re like.
And yes, I love it.
Octopi have no real tongues. And sharp, ripping beaks. And, naturally, very limited social lives.
Posted by Stiletto on June 14, 2007 at 4:07 am
Here’s another video for you, Raincoaster.
http://www.berkeley.edu/news/media/releases/2005/03/24_octopus.shtml
BTW all the links link to more octopus stuff.
Posted by max on June 14, 2007 at 4:20 am
We have to introduce Rain and Sulya. Sulya has an octopus thing going too.
Posted by Stiletto on June 14, 2007 at 4:22 am
Sulya does?
You know, I could see us having similar taste in men but it’s a little strange to imagine Rain and Sulya getting possessive over Octopus!
Posted by Stiletto on June 14, 2007 at 4:23 am
Please tell me Sulya IS a woman!
Posted by max on June 14, 2007 at 4:24 am
Sulya is a girl. I was thinking they might bond over the octopus thing more than arm wrestle over it. They are both in Canada too.
Posted by Stiletto on June 14, 2007 at 4:25 am
My God how many Canadian bloggers are there? I swear they all come from either Canada, California, Washington or Texas!
Posted by Stiletto on June 14, 2007 at 4:26 am
Bond as in..over a dish of octopus salad? lol
Posted by max on June 14, 2007 at 4:31 am
I cannot eat octopus. They are like the dogs of the sea to me. They are very bright and affectionate.
Posted by richardmorgan on June 14, 2007 at 4:35 am
Somehow, knowing that you are fond of octopus (or is it octopi) makes so much sense.
Posted by Stiletto on June 14, 2007 at 4:36 am
They are? They actually have personality?
I was trying to figure out their appeal.
Mmm, taste like dog!
Actually, I can’t stand the taste of octopus.
Posted by richardmorgan on June 14, 2007 at 4:37 am
Stiletto, are you kidding? Octopus (or it is octopi) are lovable little aquatic scamps — when they’re not mutating into giant creatures that pull unsuspecting fishermen into watery graves, that is.
Posted by Stiletto on June 14, 2007 at 4:44 am
I’ll have to research them. I was not finished researching suicidal rabbits but I’ve come to the conclusion that they f*ck themselves to death!
Posted by Stiletto on June 14, 2007 at 4:45 am
Hey Richard, want to test your IM? I know a guy named Elvis down in LA who’s dying to talk to someone. Can you pretend to be me?
Posted by max on June 14, 2007 at 4:47 am
They do have personalities. A kid I knew growing up had a pet octopus and it was affectionate. Also the marine science department at a college I attended had had an octopus there were lots of stories about it had been the department pet before passing on.
Posted by richardmorgan on June 14, 2007 at 4:49 am
Sorry, Stiletto, but Vanessa already came through, and she was more fun than Elvis, I think.
Posted by Stiletto on June 14, 2007 at 4:51 am
Awwww, Max, do you think I can put one in my tank? How could would that be? Oh wait – I’ve got freshwater, never mind.
Maybe I can stick it in a separate container and pour some Morton’s in the water.
Well excuse me Richard. You don’t want to talk to the King?
Posted by Stiletto on June 14, 2007 at 4:52 am
OH god I am sooo laughing my ass off right now…there is a second guy that usually frequents these events and his name is King….he and Elvis practically tie for most fucking annoying person of all time.
Posted by richardmorgan on June 14, 2007 at 4:52 am
Stiletto, unless we’re talking about Bubba Ho-Tep here, there ain’t no Elvis I want to talk to.
Posted by Stiletto on June 14, 2007 at 4:53 am
What’s hysterical is – Elvis recently made reference to houw annoying King was! If only he knew….
lol@Rich
Posted by Stiletto on June 14, 2007 at 4:54 am
I suppose, at the next pageant, if I run into both of them, I could title a post, “Elvis and the King.”
Posted by richardmorgan on June 14, 2007 at 4:55 am
Wait a minute — I’m not even in the running for Most Annoying Person of All Time?
Damn it, I’m slipping.
Posted by Stiletto on June 14, 2007 at 4:56 am
King was an American Indian former pro football player who injured himself and now they’re making a movie about him…um, yeah, for like the last four freakin’ years? He used to say, “Baby if you ugly you ain’t in King’s circle.”
I know Max is puking about now.
King was a fat, overweight disgusting pig with greasy skin and bad breath.
Posted by Stiletto on June 14, 2007 at 4:57 am
Richard, I was talking about OUTside of the blogosphere!
Posted by richardmorgan on June 14, 2007 at 4:58 am
By the way, Stiletto, Brianna (my wife) says that you’re much too attractive to be hanging around the men in those photographs and that you should be out running your own company.
She also says that if her husband doesn’t remove your picture from his desktop background, said husband is going to find himself in great pain.
Posted by richardmorgan on June 14, 2007 at 4:59 am
===wipes sweat off brow===
Whew. You had me worried there.
Posted by Stiletto on June 14, 2007 at 4:59 am
I’m flattered! Wow if you get a ball kick for that I’ll feel like the most loved person in the world!
You do want me to feel like the most loved person in the world, don’t you?
Posted by Stiletto on June 14, 2007 at 4:59 am
No worries, Richard. If you’re not annoying now I’m positive you’ll do something to spoil it.
Posted by Stiletto on June 14, 2007 at 5:00 am
So you were just chatting with Nessie, ay?
That was quick.
Posted by richardmorgan on June 14, 2007 at 5:01 am
Stiletto, there are few honors more special than having my testicles smashed in order to make you feel loved, but I think I’ll remove your picture from my desktop background.
I can put one of Max up there — Brianna thinks that Max is worthy of having a shrine built.
Posted by richardmorgan on June 14, 2007 at 5:02 am
I told you, Stiletto — I *am* quick.
So is Nessie, by the by. That wit sparkles and teases. You have to love that.
Posted by Stiletto on June 14, 2007 at 5:11 am
Whoa! Now hold up – I’m not worthy of having a shrine built? You are vying for title of annoying, aren’t you?
Posted by Stiletto on June 14, 2007 at 5:12 am
I swear my avatar was sneering.
Posted by max on June 14, 2007 at 5:13 am
I think they need special salt water tanks which are a lot of upkeep. Also I am not so sure how well an octopus would get along with Pumpkin. They tend to get out and roam around.
Posted by richardmorgan on June 14, 2007 at 5:14 am
Stiletto, hold on. Oh, Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood.
*I* adore you. If it were up to me, I’d build the world’s largest shrine to you — one that would rival the Taj Mahal. I would have a shrine visible from space so that passing aliens could marvel and wonder at whoever was so glorious and magnificent as to earn such a sacred place.
However, Brianna adores Max. She adores Max because Max makes me insecure and stupid and foolish and acting like a total retard.
Posted by richardmorgan on June 14, 2007 at 5:18 am
Correction:
Max does not make me insecure and stupid and foolish and acting like a retard.
I’m quite capable of doing that on my own, thank you very much.
Posted by Stiletto on June 14, 2007 at 5:19 am
I’m just messing around, Richie Rich.
Ok, so Max, the octopus can actually leave the water and come hang out? That…is so f-ing cool!
Posted by raincoaster on June 14, 2007 at 5:20 am
Octopi are a expensive and they do need the special tanks. And they will eat anything you put in there, as you’ve seen. But they’re cool. And if you get the deadly Blue Ringed Octopus, they’re kind of cute, with very beautiful markings and if you want to get rid of someone, tell them to play with it. One must be practical.
Also: there’s a book of cartoons of Jesus and Elvis: it’s called The King and the King of Kings.
Posted by raincoaster on June 14, 2007 at 5:21 am
At one research lab, one kept getting out and crawling into the other tank to eat the fish. It also ate the sandwich one of the researchers left out. They caught it once, sneaking back in.
Posted by Stiletto on June 14, 2007 at 5:22 am
Do you think it would eat my cat?
Posted by max on June 14, 2007 at 5:27 am
I was thinking more Pumpkin might attack the octopus. Hmm.
Posted by Stiletto on June 14, 2007 at 5:29 am
Well wouldn’t it also depend upon the size?
Pumpkin is a total wimp and scaredy cat. She frightens easily and is very jumpy. I once watched her jump backwards off the bed in a full arc. It was the most hilarious thing…wish I had that on video. All because I moved my foot.
Posted by max on June 14, 2007 at 5:36 am
They are not usually very big starting out.
Posted by raincoaster on June 14, 2007 at 5:54 am
They can get pretty sizey, though:
http://raincoaster.com/2007/01/06/pic-o-the-day-giant-pacific-octopus/
Posted by Stiletto on June 14, 2007 at 7:45 pm
All of a sudden, I’m starting to adore this little (or big) creature called octopus…
You must tell me all about the squid one day too.
Posted by raincoaster on June 22, 2007 at 9:28 am
http://www.lep.co.uk/weird-world?articleid=2958903
They play with lego, too.