A childhood girlfriend of mine whom I grew up with in Mississippi and who suddenly resurfaced cut ties with me on Facebook! She’d deleted my profile from her friends’ section! This perplexing discovery prompted me to fire off an email asking if I’d offended her in some way.
“Honestly you scare me a little,” she fired back. Huh?
I’m sorry! Hope you understand!”Oh my God, Stiletto is a liberal wild child! {{{Snickers}}} Possibly three of the funniest words strung together I’d heard in a while! Who would have ever thought?! Actually, it would be scandalous if ya haven’t if figured it out by now!
I was stunned yet not surprised. “Melissa” had a very traditional Catholic upbringing and her parents, both exceptionally strict and conservative, were just about anti-everything. One time I uttered, “Oh God,” and Melissa warned that I’d better not let her mom hear me or else I’d get slapped right across the face like the last kid who dared sully the good Lord’s name. Her parents frowned upon birth control, too, and Melissa’s sole responsibility was helping her mother manage a household of three younger brothers and a baby sister.
Like most relationships, we had our ups and downs. But for a girl still a few years short of junior high, she could be downright condescending! She’d even gone so far as to warn me that if I didn’t “believe” I was going to go straight to hell. She also tried to discourage me from becoming an actress. “You’re not white enough to be on television,” she said.
“No, I’m not upset. Actually, I don’t even know how to describe how I feel. I got into a fight with my brother and then right after I read this message…so whatever I’m feeling I’ll need to separate the two to reach the proper conclusion. I think I’m a bit surprised and not surprised. Honestly, I don’t know. Not used to it I guess.”
“One thing: what made me push the x was your status of “oh, F***ing God”. Anybody checking my friend list could see that. Not sure of your religious beliefs but I did find that offensive. And thank you for the apology!
She said x button as if I were some sort of toxic material that she was dumping into a nuclear fucking waste site! I suppose next time she needs advice on losing weight or sculpting and toning her body, she can look to her less “scandalous” sources! But I particularly love how she tried to talk me into analyzing and tracing her husband’s emails simply because “she’s a very jealous person!” I guess that’s what it means when they say SOMETIMES IT TAKES THE DEVIL TO DO GOD’S WORK!
Posted by max on November 18, 2008 at 5:45 pm
For me it would have been over at “you’re not white enough to be on television.”
Posted by Stiletto on November 18, 2008 at 5:46 pm
As you can see, this is where any similarity in our tolerance for bullshit ends.
Posted by max on November 18, 2008 at 6:26 pm
This is true. You are a much nicer and more tolerant person than I am.
Posted by Woeful on November 18, 2008 at 6:41 pm
I can understand her reaction. I often find myself censoring DynaDave on Facebook but I use Facebook as a business networking tool as well so I keep it strictly PG. That said, I believe that Facebook allows users to control content so she could have kept you and just deleted certain posts or comments.
Posted by sledpress on November 18, 2008 at 9:28 pm
This is why I don’t fiddle around with things like Facebook, I guess.
I had a whirlwind engagement to a British guy who had withdrawn from his parents’ Salvation Army faith but still cringed they day I nearly dropped a plate of food at his parents’ house and muttered “oh crap” under my breath. People like that are not grown up enough to worry about. The loss is theirs… and by the way it’s hypocritical, because if you are her “lifelong friend” then your character is part of her comfort zone and she shouldn’t be scuttling to hide it from her “facebook friends ug.” Or so it seems to me.
Posted by Stiletto on November 18, 2008 at 11:48 pm
I don’t think I scored any points when I told her I only wrote “Oh f***cking God” because I was happy Obama won. My boyfriend said I should have told her God probably didn’t mind because, after all, some people think Obama’s the Messiah.
‘I often find myself censoring DynaDave on Facebook’
You added DynaDave as a Facebook friend? You definitely have a sense of humor.
Posted by TheLizardKing on November 19, 2008 at 12:32 am
I would have ditched her a long time ago just for this: “You’re not white enough to be on television.” I’m sure she said this and still wanted to play with your dolls or whatever. This reminds me of living in the deep South as a kid.
I’d also tell her to never contact or talk to me every again. She seriously needs to remove the plank from her eye.
As for “she’s a very jealous person!” I guess the sweet, sweet Lord hasn’t done her a helluva lot of good. She’s still a person of weak character, and I’m sure she’ll continue to be.
Frak “Melissa!” It’s time to punt!
Posted by max on November 19, 2008 at 3:09 am
“My boyfriend said I should have told her God probably didn’t mind because, after all, some people think Obama’s the Messiah.”
Oh wow. Snap! That is a total score for TOM.