Around three a.m. this morning the ringing of the cell phone jarred me awake from a blissfully recuperative state of rest.  Pissed but curious I disentangled myself from the warm and fuzzy goose down and grabbed the offending object that had been stowed in the suitcase and stared at the phone blankly until BLOCKED ID registered in my brain. I sleepily punched in the passcode to my voicemail and pressed the phone against my ear.

Sex noises.

Somebody (a male, obviously) was making sex noises over the phone.

However, it gets worse.

That somebody sounds exactly like my brother.