Team Madam Logo Contest

Inspired by the brilliant Raincoaster.
Now you finish the rest.
Here are some ideas:

Let the games begin
Where DC goes down
In Washington we trust
Bringing down one political whore at a time
DC is for lovers

(As you see I’m partial to the words “going down”).
So go ahead — finish it — before it gets printed on a variety of CafePress.com [...]

Caribbean Bound

I’ve decided I’m going to fly down to the Bahamas for Memorial Day weekend where the 27th annual American Dream Calendar Girl Summer Nationals will be held. I did it last year and had one hell of a jolly good time and I suppose I ought to make it my own personal tradition and [...]

It’s My Diamond

And I’ll keep it if I want to!

Crater of Diamonds State Park hails itself as “The World’s Only Diamond Site Where You Can Search and Keep What You Find.”

Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

 
Oh my god, I just dreamt that I stabbed Joan Crawford to death with a very long knife.  It took three f-in’ times to kill the bitch!  What I mean is, I dreamt the same scenario THREE TIMES IN A ROW. 
How did I go from an LA film audition to ending with wiping blood off a [...]

The Sandow Awaits in Vegas

Just bought the VIP package for the 2007 Olympia weekend in Vegas!!!  I can’t say I feel completely ecstatic as it’s not ’til the end of September (sheesh, why do my vacations always fall around the dreaded monthly curse?  EVERY TIME!) but mentally, I am blown away by the prospect of seeing eight time Olympian winner Ronnie [...]

True Ghost Stories

 
It was precisely Tuesday evening when the Old Man called from The Kenmore Inn and revealed it’d been a hard night’s sleep the night before because he’d been dreaming about barely discernable [and obviously, quite obnoxious] beings dragging him throughout the various rooms of the hotel he had booked for out of town business matters.
“And then there was the bed.  I awoke [...]

Tag, I’m It

Max, I am going to grab you by the ankles, turn you upside down and dip your head in…in…oh, I don’t know…dark red henna.  But Celluloid Cherry sounds like an adult film star name spawned by some crazy net generator and one quality that cannot be attributed to you is bad taste.
So I’ve been tagged by Max [...]

Film Adaptation of Hitman

FYI, I’m a serious video game junkie.  Shadowman will always be my hands down favorite while Hitman places a close second. 
Do you know why I hit the gym regularly?  Aside from aesthetic and health reasons?  Because it keeps me from smoking pot and gaming 24/7.  For real.  I used to take my home line off [...]

Let’s Play Doctor

This…I am one hundred percent certain I am going to barf up my dinner because for all my bitching about having to clean the apartment tonight I ended up eating Lebanese and drinking four glasses of wine and learning Arabic and that means the toilet is still dirty and I can spew all over it. 
This…this is so… wrong!
Warning:  [...]

Don’t Let the Door Hit You From Behind

Uncle K called last night while I was drinking wine and vodka. I had just gotten back from hanging out with the front desk girl and and this sophisticated yokel from Texas who happened to stop by while I was sticking Chinese dumplings in my mouth and covertly sipping raspberry flavored vodka from a [...]

Dangerous Liaisons

I am ashamed to say “his” name or refer to him by the less than subtle nickname that I tend to ascribe to those I gossip about but I can’t stop thinking about him. We have been corresponding like crazy - text messages, IM, emails, all the usual methods of modern communication - and [...]

Congratulations to Me!

So much to do, so little time!  Maybe it’s premature to say this but - congratulate me! I’m about to start my own business!  I’m in the process of renting out a section of office space located in a gorgeous Penthouse suite out west (think clear air and X-games) and I am so thrilled!  But [...]

What’s Behind Door Number Three

The beautifully brilliant and sharp witted Celluloid Blonde is over in her home away from home (or is that home within a home?) right now and right here and she is talking about cute neighbor guys.  She is crossing her fingers and wishing on a star that some hot stud will move into the vacant apartment near hers which is not [...]

Stalker in the Making

 
My late afternoon gym session wraps up with me sitting in my trainer’s office and perusing through the numerous muscle mags his best friend had dropped off earlier.  And somehow the convo that has revolved around Jay Cutler and various other Mr. Olympias casually segues into whining about how hard it is to find a good man to date and intelligently separating them [...]

Let the Frothy Games Begin

More ways to kill time at work my lovely little cubicle rats. Unleash the beast that is your stream of consciousness, all fatuous dreams of songwriting stardom can be reconciled here. Bong hit optional.
My first brilliant piece of lyric:
“You are a ho.”
Ouch! I got lectured for not using enough words? Um, [...]

Five Diamonds My Ass

Last night my girlfriend Kiki called and told me to meet her and her new boyfriend at some place down the street from my apartment I never even heard of but was sort of eager to check out now that they mentioned it. I’m so out of the loop, I guess I’m not that cool [...]

Ooops I Did It Again

I left town on one of those freaky and flimsy regional jets which is not good for those who suffer from claustrophobia (like me) but perfect if you don’t want to sit next to anyone because I got stuffed into the left side of the plane all by myself with no neighbors on my left [...]

Men Are Such Assholes

 
They come around with their sweet talk and buzz around like little horny bees trying to score some nectar.  A Secret Service guy I knew told me I had a “fuck face.”  (And he used to be a lover - big surprise that my taste in men hasn’t evolved much)!  Now, what the hell is that?  And, is that flattering or is [...]

Beauty is Really A Four Letter Word

Oh God! I think I’m sick! My throat is raw, my nose is dripping like a leaky faucet, and I just threw up two cajun spiced catfish filets and a sweet potato filled with butter and brown sugar (Shhh! Don’t tell my trainer!)
I think the fish was spoiled. It’s one of those pre packaged deals [...]