hOT eUraSiaN siSteRs

Paramours of Satan

There’s a certain level of angst for a universally attractive woman. More so if she is sexual by nature and uses it as a bargaining chip to secure men for her own needs. The rest of the population would collectively surmise that she is either dumb as a rock or a natural born predator. [...]

Nassau, Bahamas - Stardates 0706.02 & 0706.03 - Stiletto Does Ecstasy

It was the beginning of a joyously wonderful [albeit rainy] Sunday evening until Elvis got a hold of me.

“Come on baby! Let’s do some ecstasy!” says he.
“I don’t do that shit. In fact I don’t do drugs,” says she. “At least not anymore.”
“But it’s really mild stuff,” insists he. “You won’t [...]

Nassau, Bahamas - Stardate 0706.02 - The Beautiful Women Edition

Inside the Rainforest Theatre - Wyndham Crystal Palace
I got to judge! Well I had to share a sheet with that Fat Cling On Jordanian guy who kept feeling me up under the table. However the good news is I spotted my colorful friend Donnie whom I met last year and he [...]

I Am Weak For You Nicole

I leg pressed my first 300 lbs on Tuesday (four sets thank you) and I’m thinking of some reason, any reason, to justify spending what I spent at the Nicole Miller boutique yesterday afternoon. It’s not my fault, really, the pre rush hour traffic was atrocious and I had to flip a bitch to [...]

Caribbean Bound

I’ve decided I’m going to fly down to the Bahamas for Memorial Day weekend where the 27th annual American Dream Calendar Girl Summer Nationals will be held. I did it last year and had one hell of a jolly good time and I suppose I ought to make it my own personal tradition and [...]

Revel In Your Divine Whore, Married Women!

Ladies!
Don’t want to find your dearly beloved husband’s work or personal number in some sensationally publicized forty-six pounds of cell phone records that happens to belong to the Beltway Madam or one of similar repute (or any Madam, for that matter)? Are you upset and frustrated when he neglects the garbage or he won’t scrub [...]

Give Me A New Pair, Please

Something is wrong with my eyes. Something has been festering on my eyelids since LAST SUMMER - right before I took my nephew to San Francisco for a sweet little summer vacation. Can you believe how f-ing lazy I am? I WAITED UNTIL LATE FALL to even get my ass to the dermatologist! She prescribed [...]

Don’t Let the Door Hit You From Behind

Uncle K called last night while I was drinking wine and vodka. I had just gotten back from hanging out with the front desk girl and and this sophisticated yokel from Texas who happened to stop by while I was sticking Chinese dumplings in my mouth and covertly sipping raspberry flavored vodka from a [...]

Hollywood Madam Spills the Beans

Click pic for link!

“I have never heard of this woman and don’t know why she would accuse me of something like this,” Lasorda said in a statement issued by his attorney, Tony Capozzola. “But if she prints these lies, I intend to sue.”

Willis’ attorney, Marty Singer, said: “The story is a complete fabrication. (Willis) doesn’t [...]

Britney Goes Bald

Click pic for story.
I’m way too sore to write this evening.  I think I’ll go rent a movie and booze it up as usual.  I should hit the shower because I smell pretty disgusting but sometimes I like to do the anti-glamour thing and grunge out.
I shouldn’t blog when drinking because I end up looking back [...]

Valentine’s Day Pics

I found it!  The perfect dress and coat!  Oh, I look like such a lady!  heehee  Look at the gloves!  The better to kill you with, my dear!  So elegant that once you finish the job you can jet right off to dinner!   Just don’t lose one! 

Hmm.  The way I just cut myself in half is creepy. 
By the way, [...]

Shoot Me I’m a Size Queen!

I remember the time I offered my dad a truffle.  This was when I was really young and my feelings were easily hurt.  When parents still had that sort of influence over you. 
He was deeply engrossed in some television program when he reached for the box.  Right before he was about to pop it in his mouth I [...]

PSA TMI Fo’ SHIZZLE

I just wanted to inform my loyal viewers and the many ships sailing through here that my breasts are actually getting larger.
Thank you.  Thank you very much.
And no - a picture is not available at this time.
Signed,
The Original Asian Brunette Bimbo

Sadists, Start Your Engines

YES YOUR ASS LOOKS FAT IN THAT DRESS.   Only people with a high tolerance for abuse would do this.  Really. 
 I’ve often thought that I should have been an image consultant.  You see, my mother is a person of a highly critical nature and I sort of inherited that.  But just because you’re an incorrigible person doesn’t mean you [...]

God is in the Picture

Another beautiful sunset from my balcony.  The view justifies that prick of a landlord raising my rent each year.  Too bad the people in my neighborhood aren’t worth a damn.  Click to enlarge.

She’s Got Muscles

Here is a picture of beautiful fitness model Jelena Abbou.  And that is how I aspire to look by next year.  Both her face and physique are gorgeous.

Just Another Mundane Friday

I was looking forward to bitching about rogue taxi drivers and revealing my newfound knowledge on ways to gain good karma points by snatching freshly deceased bodies but I won’t be writing tonight.  My body is run down and I almost fainted walking through the mall on the way to pick up Victoria’s Secret’s Very Voluptuous Lip Plumper.  [...]

Ugly, Ugly Again

 
I’ve missed two work outs in a row.  What sort of athlete am I anyway?  Not a dedicated one, that’s for sure.  If I had gone in yesterday and done squats and leg presses like I was supposed to, I’d be sitting at home recovering today.  But no, I have to start the beginning of [...]

Sluttiness is in the Eye of the Beholder

                                        
Some of you might think that Chinoiserie Red Moon Barbie  looks like an Asian bar girl standing in a police line up but I think she’s got Bond babe appeal.  Plus her clothes are nowhere near as risque as Bling Bling Lolee’s ghetto attire (see below far left). 
Below, Red Moon is prancing around in pj’s and high heels. [...]

Sandwiched Between Two Blondes

I found this picture in my yahoo box.  My friend - Mr. Baseball - sent it to me a while back.
Just a little “here is what you are missing” jab for not tripping over myself to catch the next train to New York to visit him.  [Sigh] Maybe I am missing a good thing. 
Why is he [...]

My Future Husband

There is a hunky nineteen year old guy at my gym who is pre-med and desiring to specialize in plastic and reconstructive surgery.  In my mind, we have a frivolous post work out romp or two, in reality he’d be mowing my lawn for some beer money and besides, molestation has never been my thing.
I’ve often [...]

Beauty is Really A Four Letter Word

Oh God! I think I’m sick! My throat is raw, my nose is dripping like a leaky faucet, and I just threw up two cajun spiced catfish filets and a sweet potato filled with butter and brown sugar (Shhh! Don’t tell my trainer!)
I think the fish was spoiled. It’s one of those pre packaged deals [...]