I Want You So Badly

Dear Diary:
I wish I knew how to sew. I’d make it myself.
My mother is a talented seamstress. Unfortunately, she’s selfish! You’d think that maybe she’d think that maybe I’d want to learn how to sew? Well she’s right. Quality time with her is about as pleasant as being stuck in [...]

Wine Me Dine Me Love Me

Dear Diary: 
Hair is green no more.
I am happy again.
Went and bought this -

Tonight I will eat well. Drink alcohol. Screw the man I love.
Wine me, dine me, love me. See - I’m really not that hard to please.  Don’t listen to the rumors.
Life is good again.

Lingerie Lust

I don’t know why but I have to have this.

And this.

Oh yeah, and definitely this!
All from Night Dreams.

Beautiful Seven

Saturday night at Sette Bello with Ken & Jo of the most excellent blog, Dangerous Playthings.
[Put that leg down, girl - you're going commando! When you're squeezed into a dress this tight you have no choice. Unsightly panty lines distract from the pièce de résistance].
Click right for more photos…

Mini Skirt Not A Hit With Southwest Employees

You would think the major airlines have more pressing issues to worry about than a passenger’s sense of fashion. But apparently not. And maybe instead of harassing the attractive blonde college co-ed and Hooters employee for her “inappropriate” wardrobe selection they should have escorted the dumb bitch (come on, you just know [...]

I Got My Louboutins, Goddamn It

I was in a glum mood today.
Tired and slightly hungover and harboring a vomit inducing stomach blockage from last night’s birthday celebration at the very colorful and stylish champagne bar Napoleon in the Adams Morgan section of Washington DC (where this wild eyed and crazy house jester cackled madly and danced all over the place [...]

I Am Weak For You Nicole

I leg pressed my first 300 lbs on Tuesday (four sets thank you) and I’m thinking of some reason, any reason, to justify spending what I spent at the Nicole Miller boutique yesterday afternoon. It’s not my fault, really, the pre rush hour traffic was atrocious and I had to flip a bitch to [...]

My Inner Fashionista Loves A Good Bargain

I don’t know if this is over indulgent or what but I just came back from TJ Maxx and brought home twelve to die for blouses, one black sweatsuit, a pair of grey slacks and a glass sculpture of a woman’s torso.  I am not sure if I saved a significant amount of money because I [...]

Out of the Closet

It’s a clothing sale!
I’m sorry, Mama. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to make you cry, but tonight I’m cleanin’ out my closet.[Eminem]

Actually, mother, the clothes you buy me are so inconsiderate and thoughtless that I just chucked that shit in the Salvation Army dumpster and the dumpster threw it back up.  Mother, guess what?  [...]

“Well, Hello Charlie!”

We are casting print models for Federal Housing Administration. All ages (18 & up), all sexes, all races. Shoot dates between March 1 and 20, 2007.
Please follow the these instructions exactly or we will not be able to accept your submission:
Email 3 recent photos of you by yourself (jpg files less than 1MB in size) [...]

Britney Goes Bald

Click pic for story.
I’m way too sore to write this evening.  I think I’ll go rent a movie and booze it up as usual.  I should hit the shower because I smell pretty disgusting but sometimes I like to do the anti-glamour thing and grunge out.
I shouldn’t blog when drinking because I end up looking back [...]

Valentine’s Day Pics

I found it!  The perfect dress and coat!  Oh, I look like such a lady!  heehee  Look at the gloves!  The better to kill you with, my dear!  So elegant that once you finish the job you can jet right off to dinner!   Just don’t lose one! 

Hmm.  The way I just cut myself in half is creepy. 
By the way, [...]

Sadists, Start Your Engines

YES YOUR ASS LOOKS FAT IN THAT DRESS.   Only people with a high tolerance for abuse would do this.  Really. 
 I’ve often thought that I should have been an image consultant.  You see, my mother is a person of a highly critical nature and I sort of inherited that.  But just because you’re an incorrigible person doesn’t mean you [...]

Looking for a Few Good Suckers

No, absolutely not. Straight men of America, you need to reclaim your masculinity and not allow yourself to be henpecked by your girlfriend or the fashion industry into showcasing your twig and berries in this major wardrobe faux pas. Straight men do not willingly forego denim for tights. They just don’t. [...]

Sluttiness is in the Eye of the Beholder

                                        
Some of you might think that Chinoiserie Red Moon Barbie  looks like an Asian bar girl standing in a police line up but I think she’s got Bond babe appeal.  Plus her clothes are nowhere near as risque as Bling Bling Lolee’s ghetto attire (see below far left). 
Below, Red Moon is prancing around in pj’s and high heels. [...]

Is This Shirt Gay?

 

 
I bought my brother this shirt for Christmas from a designer clothing store called hotntrendy.com. Do you think it looks gay?
I hope so because he really pissed me off on Sunday. It’s not a good idea to piss people off around Christmas.
 

I Heart Nicole

Look at this silky little number I bought last Sunday! I’ve got a serious addiction to Nicole Miller. I can’t wait to wear it this Friday to my “special occasion” restaurant, Filomena’s.
Let’s just hope I don’t spill marinara all over it!
Photo courtesy of edressme.com

K.O.

My passion is kids. They can’t change the school system, they can’t cure diseases that afflict them and they can’t mentor themselves. Somebody who really cares has to do that for them. We have to fight for children.”
— Joseph E. Robert, Jr., Chairman, Fight For Children
It’s that time of year again. Fight Night 2007, where [...]

Olive Does A Body Good

My new dress. Pre-ordered and arriving this morning. I have a similar looking leopard purse and matching belt by Nicole Miller, I even have those shoes, which go with everything.  If you have to buy one pair, this is it.  All together, it’s going to be fabulous! The dress is a perfect fit and showcases [...]