With Christians Like These…

Pastor Fred Phelps of the notorious moral terrorist organization Westboro Baptist Church is the evil force behind www.godhatesfags.com and he and his gay bashing flock have added another name to their agenda of hate - no, not another dead US soldier - this time it’s actor Heath Ledger, who met an untimely and [...]

HEATH LEDGER - DEAD AT 28!

 
I’m actually fucking up my freshly manicured nails to inform you that one of my favorite actors is DEAD!!!!
Holy shit - what a waste! My friend LK is so upset that he went out and bought a bottle of Scotch and took up smoking again!
RIP, Health, you beautiful talented man, you! TMZ has [...]

Is Fidel Castro Dead?

Talk about a coup de scoop - considering it’s coming from Perez Hilton - of all people!  He better hope his sources are accurate because he will be labeled as a complete fraud once this radical claim is internationally exposed as a complete fabrication or just flat out bogus!
In fact I’ve been flipping through the usual suspects - [...]

Caribbean Bound

I’ve decided I’m going to fly down to the Bahamas for Memorial Day weekend where the 27th annual American Dream Calendar Girl Summer Nationals will be held. I did it last year and had one hell of a jolly good time and I suppose I ought to make it my own personal tradition and [...]

Revel In Your Divine Whore, Married Women!

Ladies!
Don’t want to find your dearly beloved husband’s work or personal number in some sensationally publicized forty-six pounds of cell phone records that happens to belong to the Beltway Madam or one of similar repute (or any Madam, for that matter)? Are you upset and frustrated when he neglects the garbage or he won’t scrub [...]

You Are A Thoughtless Little Pig!

Guess who?
He is so troubled and in trouble.  Read more here.

Alpha Male Returned

Speaking of men and guns, that SWAT guy I was lusting over in 2007 January is now single and available.
According to “P,” my personal trainer (and direct line to gossip adrift in the gym), that idiotic ex girlfriend of his now has her eye on a really good looking surgeon from Iowa with [...]

A Chip off the Ol’ Block

The joyfulness of a man prolongeth his days. 
[What was bundled up inside my fortune cookie today].
He’s.  Still.  Here.
The little serial arsonist in the making that is my teen age nephew missed his nine a.m. flight.  His father yelled at me twice over the tele as though it is my fault.  My fault!  If it wasn’t for my nephew’s unrelenting [...]

On Your Mark, Get Set, Lube

If there is one hallmark of virtue I can proudly claim it’s my steadfast refusal to kiss ass even under the most advantageous of circumstances. So when my dear personal trainer suggested that I slather resident asshole [and the new manager of our gym] with an effusive buttering up of his ‘roidally injected buns, I [...]

Tag, I’m It

Max, I am going to grab you by the ankles, turn you upside down and dip your head in…in…oh, I don’t know…dark red henna.  But Celluloid Cherry sounds like an adult film star name spawned by some crazy net generator and one quality that cannot be attributed to you is bad taste.
So I’ve been tagged by Max [...]

Don’t Let the Door Hit You From Behind

Uncle K called last night while I was drinking wine and vodka. I had just gotten back from hanging out with the front desk girl and and this sophisticated yokel from Texas who happened to stop by while I was sticking Chinese dumplings in my mouth and covertly sipping raspberry flavored vodka from a [...]

Anna Nicole Judge Cited For Pot In Park

You know, I was really hoping it was the outlandish Judge Seidlin who was pinched with his dope on because that would almost certainly explain his bizarre antics in that spectacle of a courtroom he presided over.
HOLLYWOOD, Fla. - A judge who had a secondary role in the recent Anna Nicole Smith proceedings was charged [...]

Stalker in the Making

 
My late afternoon gym session wraps up with me sitting in my trainer’s office and perusing through the numerous muscle mags his best friend had dropped off earlier.  And somehow the convo that has revolved around Jay Cutler and various other Mr. Olympias casually segues into whining about how hard it is to find a good man to date and intelligently separating them [...]

15,000 Philandering Souls Squirming in Washington

Washington divorce lawyers are licking their chops and gearing up for battle. The “Beltway Madam” - Deborah J. Palfrey aka “Julia” - has sold the phone numbers of her clients to a reputable news organization. In another brilliant move, Ms. Palfrey has filed a countersuit for a breach of contract against an employee who claimed [...]

Fakin’ the Big O

Restaurant “O,” that is.
Maestro is a world class dining establishment and among its legions of fans and an extensive internet search, I must be the only one who does not ”get it.”  It is a colorful but severe departure from the norm and last night’s culinary exhibitions nearly drove me to the brink of insanity. Maybe it was the all the duck [...]

Five Diamonds My Ass

Last night my girlfriend Kiki called and told me to meet her and her new boyfriend at some place down the street from my apartment I never even heard of but was sort of eager to check out now that they mentioned it. I’m so out of the loop, I guess I’m not that cool [...]

Ooops I Did It Again

I left town on one of those freaky and flimsy regional jets which is not good for those who suffer from claustrophobia (like me) but perfect if you don’t want to sit next to anyone because I got stuffed into the left side of the plane all by myself with no neighbors on my left [...]

Men Are Such Assholes

 
They come around with their sweet talk and buzz around like little horny bees trying to score some nectar.  A Secret Service guy I knew told me I had a “fuck face.”  (And he used to be a lover - big surprise that my taste in men hasn’t evolved much)!  Now, what the hell is that?  And, is that flattering or is [...]

Hollywood Madam Spills the Beans

Click pic for link!

“I have never heard of this woman and don’t know why she would accuse me of something like this,” Lasorda said in a statement issued by his attorney, Tony Capozzola. “But if she prints these lies, I intend to sue.”

Willis’ attorney, Marty Singer, said: “The story is a complete fabrication. (Willis) doesn’t [...]

Live Feed of Anna Nicole Smith Hearing

For you poor saps who are stuck in a cubicle all day.
Live Feed Of ANS Hearing

Judge Seidlin, Your 15 Minutes Are Finito!

 
This judge is out of his f*cking mind and a disgrace to the bench!  He should be disbarred and stripped of his robe!  The way he pontificates ad nauseum in that Yankee accent as though he’s sittin’ on a porch kickin’ back with a glass of lemonade on a warm summer day while Anna Nicole’s rapidly deteriorating [...]

More Anna Nicole Wackiness - Stoned on Video!

 
From TMZ: (click picture for video)
A stunning video shows a barely functional Anna Nicole Smith, stammering and stuttering, as Howard K. Stern rhapsodizes about how much money the clip will be worth.
The tape, which aired Monday night on Greta Van Susteren’s show on FOX News Channel, shows an eight-month pregnant Smith, her face painted like [...]

It’s Always the Good Looking Ones

TMZ, my favorite gossip site, reports:
“CNN’s Anderson Cooper put himself on the auction block to benefit the Bailey House, which helps people with AIDS. A lunch date with the news anchor was sold to British bachelor Oliver Hicks for $21,000.”
You know AC’s sexual orientation has been under speculation for some time. I don’t think a date [...]

Howard K. Stern the Jew

 
Looking at the search terms that help generate traffic to my site should elicit a few Beavis and Butthead-esque snickers.  Those endowed with a poor sense of humor would probably roll their eyes in disgust.  Aside from all the bonafide perverts out there  (swimsuit mishaps?  eating cooze?  huge pole grind against pole dancing) and those in dire need of an [...]

Anna Nicole…All Roads Lead to Howard K. Stern

All this speculation about Anna Nicole Smith, her death, her baby, her legacy, blah blah blah, is purely a waste of time.  Why not wait until the actual results come in before taking a stab at a somewhat educated guess?
But before I jump off the bandwagon and heed my own advice, let me say a [...]

Anna Nicole Smith - Dead!

 
I interrupt the sequence of my vacation storytelling to inform you that Anna Nicole Smith just died!  Holy shit!  How sad!  How weird!  Is the family that cursed, or is someone conspiring to kill them off, one by one? 

My Playboy Rejection Letter

I’ve always suspected Hugh Hefner of being a homo.  The interview below validates my belief.  You can’t blame him for turning gay, that is, if he wasn’t already a hanger in the closet.  The ample supply of nubile girls frolicking about his elderly feet must be overwhelming.  What mere mortal wouldn’t suffocate among the bounteous abundance of bouncing bosoms and bold blondage? It’s like [...]

A Look Inside the Hef Machine

Jill Ann Spaulding
Tells What Really Happened In Hef’s Bedroom
Interview by Chauncé Hayden* [of Steppin' Out Magazine]
  photos by: Matthew Philips & George Bogart
  pink hat photo: hat design by: Ivy Supersonic / photo by: Donald Bowers

It’s been a fascination for decades. What really goes on inside the very private and privileged walls of the Playboy Mansion, particularly [...]

A Sliver of Gossip

During my last two days of quiet desperation, I uncorked a 2003 Château Mongravey Margaux Cru Bourgeois and shared it with a friend of mine, a financier from London.  I decided it was time to be festive, even if it was three o’clock in the afternoon.  A departure from the norm, I suppose, as I don’t drink before five [...]

The Birds and Bees Gone South

I think one can ascertain from previous entries that my younger brother is one hundred and ten percent certifiably plum crazy. When he calls I am most certain that he’s going to ruffle the hairs on the back of my neck. Chatting with him is not high on the list of pleasurable indulgences.
It is a [...]