Happy Birthday, Lover

My boyfriend’s birthday was last Friday and it’s on the same day as Heath Ledger’s. They both fall under the fire sign Aries which represents male fertility and passion! This for sure means I would have fallen madly in love with Heath unless he really did have a drug addiction that was spiraling [...]

I Don’t Want to Love You Anymore

WARNING: More depressing thoughts.

The Freaks Who Roam MySpace

I dug this up from the archives of The Washington Post (dated July 4, 2006) -
The wildly popular online social networking phenomenon dominated by the Web site MySpace.com has a little-noticed underside: a subculture of users who gather in “groups” — or message boards — expressly [...]

The New Guy at the Gym II

Well, new to me as I’ve never seen him before.
Really hot. Older Gorgeous salt and pepper hair. Built like a brick shithouse. I mean this guy has the physique of a god! Drives a $250,000 Mercedes but doesn’t put on airs. In fact, his company shirt reads *&* [...]

Paramours of Satan

There’s a certain level of angst for a universally attractive woman. More so if she is sexual by nature and uses it as a bargaining chip to secure men for her own needs. The rest of the population would collectively surmise that she is either dumb as a rock or a natural born predator. [...]

Steer Clear of Chicks Named Evelyn

“Do you ever find yourself…being completely smothered by somebody?”
Yes. Yes, yes, yes! Been there, done that! Er, I mean, had that done!
Oh my God! This is so cheesy but AWESOME!

I’m still laughing…
BTW, I accidentally titled this, Steer Clear of Chicks Named Misty…probably thinking of my ex-husband’s second wife…PSYCHO!

A Happy Date Story Pt I

The place: Mienyu
The wardrobe: A coral colored Bebe dress and gold mules.
The man: Strikingly gorgeous model type and Ashton Kutcher lookalike. Casual with gel coiffed hair and - gulp! tennis shoes?
Transportation: Taxi - driver non-hostile
Our first date almost got off to a disastrous start because

Revel In Your Divine Whore, Married Women!

Ladies!
Don’t want to find your dearly beloved husband’s work or personal number in some sensationally publicized forty-six pounds of cell phone records that happens to belong to the Beltway Madam or one of similar repute (or any Madam, for that matter)? Are you upset and frustrated when he neglects the garbage or he won’t scrub [...]

Car/10 Personality/0

Dear Stiletto:
I don’t know what came over me. Here is a picture of my new car. Do you want to take a ride???

Dear Dickless in Maryland:

Take Your Wife, Please!

“Stiletto, how would you like to go to a Wizards game - my VIP tickets entitle us to the pre game cocktail party. What do you think? It’ll be a hell of a good time.”
I arch my eyebrows in amusement. Today out of all days was not the day to play around. [...]

They Call the Rising Sun

The universe has an extremely twisted sense of humor.
Just remember that.
Premonitions are a funny thing. They never really tell you what you need to know, instead they fill your head with silly and trivial facts.

Alpha Male Returned

Speaking of men and guns, that SWAT guy I was lusting over in 2007 January is now single and available.
According to “P,” my personal trainer (and direct line to gossip adrift in the gym), that idiotic ex girlfriend of his now has her eye on a really good looking surgeon from Iowa with [...]

If You Want To Earn Your Man

You’ve got to learn your man!
“…her vagina is cold, she’s laying in bed at night playing with toys. Or she’s got a man beside her, he’s a good provider but he’s not hitting the walls and working the middle like that daaawg that she havin’ that sneaky sex with…”
I couldn’t resist lifting this little gem of a [...]

Dangerous Liaisons

I am ashamed to say “his” name or refer to him by the less than subtle nickname that I tend to ascribe to those I gossip about but I can’t stop thinking about him. We have been corresponding like crazy - text messages, IM, emails, all the usual methods of modern communication - and [...]

What’s Behind Door Number Three

The beautifully brilliant and sharp witted Celluloid Blonde is over in her home away from home (or is that home within a home?) right now and right here and she is talking about cute neighbor guys.  She is crossing her fingers and wishing on a star that some hot stud will move into the vacant apartment near hers which is not [...]

Stalker in the Making

 
My late afternoon gym session wraps up with me sitting in my trainer’s office and perusing through the numerous muscle mags his best friend had dropped off earlier.  And somehow the convo that has revolved around Jay Cutler and various other Mr. Olympias casually segues into whining about how hard it is to find a good man to date and intelligently separating them [...]

Five Diamonds My Ass

Last night my girlfriend Kiki called and told me to meet her and her new boyfriend at some place down the street from my apartment I never even heard of but was sort of eager to check out now that they mentioned it. I’m so out of the loop, I guess I’m not that cool [...]

Ooops I Did It Again

I left town on one of those freaky and flimsy regional jets which is not good for those who suffer from claustrophobia (like me) but perfect if you don’t want to sit next to anyone because I got stuffed into the left side of the plane all by myself with no neighbors on my left [...]

Men Are Such Assholes

 
They come around with their sweet talk and buzz around like little horny bees trying to score some nectar.  A Secret Service guy I knew told me I had a “fuck face.”  (And he used to be a lover - big surprise that my taste in men hasn’t evolved much)!  Now, what the hell is that?  And, is that flattering or is [...]

Hollywood Madam Spills the Beans

Click pic for link!

“I have never heard of this woman and don’t know why she would accuse me of something like this,” Lasorda said in a statement issued by his attorney, Tony Capozzola. “But if she prints these lies, I intend to sue.”

Willis’ attorney, Marty Singer, said: “The story is a complete fabrication. (Willis) doesn’t [...]

It Takes A Real Man to Get This Dirty

Graphic:  Do not venture further or else - be warned!

Judge Seidlin, Your 15 Minutes Are Finito!

 
This judge is out of his f*cking mind and a disgrace to the bench!  He should be disbarred and stripped of his robe!  The way he pontificates ad nauseum in that Yankee accent as though he’s sittin’ on a porch kickin’ back with a glass of lemonade on a warm summer day while Anna Nicole’s rapidly deteriorating [...]

More Anna Nicole Wackiness - Stoned on Video!

 
From TMZ: (click picture for video)
A stunning video shows a barely functional Anna Nicole Smith, stammering and stuttering, as Howard K. Stern rhapsodizes about how much money the clip will be worth.
The tape, which aired Monday night on Greta Van Susteren’s show on FOX News Channel, shows an eight-month pregnant Smith, her face painted like [...]

It’s Always the Good Looking Ones

TMZ, my favorite gossip site, reports:
“CNN’s Anderson Cooper put himself on the auction block to benefit the Bailey House, which helps people with AIDS. A lunch date with the news anchor was sold to British bachelor Oliver Hicks for $21,000.”
You know AC’s sexual orientation has been under speculation for some time. I don’t think a date [...]

Shoot Me I’m a Size Queen!

I remember the time I offered my dad a truffle.  This was when I was really young and my feelings were easily hurt.  When parents still had that sort of influence over you. 
He was deeply engrossed in some television program when he reached for the box.  Right before he was about to pop it in his mouth I [...]

Goodbye, Old Man Down the Road

I knew it was a sign when I heard him break wind in bed three times last night. For the first time ever.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but the omen was as bright as the star that led the three wise men to Jesus.
Now that’s he gone, I can blog freely. And let [...]

Yes Dude Your Wife Is Cheating On You

Someone I know discovered a box of condoms in his wife’s glovebox last year when he went to retrieve her car from the valet. 
“I think she’s cheating on me,” he said.  “I confronted her in bed.  What can I say?  I was in such a state of shock that I couldn’t ask right after we left the restaurant.”
I [...]

Anna Nicole…All Roads Lead to Howard K. Stern

All this speculation about Anna Nicole Smith, her death, her baby, her legacy, blah blah blah, is purely a waste of time.  Why not wait until the actual results come in before taking a stab at a somewhat educated guess?
But before I jump off the bandwagon and heed my own advice, let me say a [...]

What Happens in Vegas…

At least most of it anyway. I cannot reveal everything since I’ve sold out and allowed myself to be be censored but as soon as the Old Man and I split, I’ll spill all the very juicy details. It’s the sort of drama that hooks people on daytime tv. But for now, my lips are [...]

Back from Sin City

 
Jet lagged, spaced out, completely on another planet.
And not just broke but a little broken.
There are so many things I want to discuss but if you recall, my boyfriend has issued a gag order and ultimatum - my blog, or him! I am not supposed to discuss the details of our relationship because the truth [...]